Reader Email

Today I got a hilarious email from someone who was upset about something I said on my site. Of all the offensive things I have said (and there are many of them) he chose to take issue with my article about how Dell commercials suck. Here is the email for your viewing pleasure:
You obviously have a problem with language - you use gutter talk and think you are qualified to do commentary on commercials. Spare us the sorrow! I am not saying that the Dell commercials are bad or good, just commenting on your lack of decency in your choice of words. HT
First of all pal before you criticize my diction take a look at your own. I won’t break it down for you here but since your email came from some Christian Academy perhaps you could ask the head nuns to mix in an English course or two for their students, as your grammar is rather poor. Also I am very qualified to commentate on commercials for a few reasons.
1. I watched them.
2. I have a website on which I comment about things.
3. I fucking feel like it.
It wasn’t some great essay on the state of man or the merits of a 1992 California Cabernet Sauvignon as opposed to a 1993 one. It doesn’t take an experienced ad agent to know if a commercial is stupid or not. It takes one guy with a website and an IQ higher than that of the average cantaloupe.
I don’t know what country you come from, but the fact that you would email something so asinine to someone with hundreds of readers daily sure suggests it is the good old USA, which means that you probably took those history courses where they talked about The Constitution and The Bill of Rights. In there it explicitly states that I can say whatever I wish and use whatever language I chose to do so. And luckily you can exercise the same freedom and not read it. So do me a favor and exercise your constitutional right to fuck off.
I mean what does this ass do, search on Google for 4 letter words then go to each website and send them an email asking to tone down the language? I realize my site is perhaps not something the average five year old should be reading but it sure isn’t a flaming beacon of indecency on the World Wide Web or anything. It is truly baffling to me that somebody would take the time out of their day to compose an email like this. But at least I got some good material out of it.